Is anyone up for a Republic of Bacon road trip? I think I’ve found my new favourite place in the world. It combines everything I could possibly ever want: bacon, beer and well, more bacon and beer. My new favourite place is a bar in Baltimore called Bad Decisions. A bar in Baltimore may sound like an odd place to love above all others, but Bad Decisions has something that no other bar has: a Beer & Bacon Happy Hour every month.

According to AOL.com, the happy hour is generally like any other happy hour. The one major differentiating factor is that instead of little bowls of pretzels and nuts on the bar, owner John Reusing puts out *free* bowls of cooked bacon. I love it already. Not only that, but he serves up some bacon-themed dishes. And finally, he also makes one of our favourite things at the Republic of Bacon: bacon cocktails!

The cocktails are a tasty bunch. There’s a Bacon and Habanero Pepper Mojito. This is a mojito made from mint-flavoured rum and habanero peppers. Pieces of bacon are then sprinkled on top. There’s also a biscotti liqueur shot that comes with a bacon-wrapped pineapple as a chaser. For the non-alcoholic, he serves a float with a scoop of bacon ice cream. A more “traditional” drink offering includes a bacon and shrimp-flavoured Bloody Mary. And he garnishes his martinis with strips of bacon.

For his meals, Reusing snags a bunch of local chefs to cook up a range of items for the event, including bacon kebabs, bacon-wrapped shrimp, pretzels dipped in bacon candy and bacon cinnamon rolls. With all of these bacon-flavoured food items, Reusing goes through a lot of bacon. Fortunately, Reusing gets about 50 pounds of free Applewood bacon to give out to his guests. He also makes about 40 pounds of his own bacon. The bacon leaves a greasy, but delicious mess in his kitchen that takes two days to clean up.

The happy hour originally went from 5pm to 7pm. However, it was so successful that the bar had to extend it to midnight and beyond. Now, it’s the busiest night of the month. In this video that TravelChannelTV did on the night (aptly named “Bacon Paradise”), you can see for yourself the many, many happy patrons. You can also see the GINORMOUS bowls of – did I mention it was free? – bacon everyone gets. They ain’t foolin’ when they say that everyone gets bacon. I’m instantly jealous of every person in this video and want them all to suffer terrible back acne until I can share in their joy.

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I seriously can’t watch that video more than once. The epicness of the bacon-love is bringing tears to my eyes. Reusing says some of his patrons are so addicted to the event, they budget their monthly expenses around it. I can see why. Why are no Canadians doing this? What is wrong with us, Canada? And where’s my credit card? I think I need to buy a ticket to Baltimore.