The French are known for their high cuisine and carefully constructed delicacies. They are not usually associated with food that we can make with no recipe, and that requires the liberal use of a prepared condiment. But that is, I guess, the whole point of the Infamous French Bacon Sandwich. It is good because it is very, very, very wrong. Let me explain.

Bakin’ Bacon with Macon

Like many things both right and wrong, this sandwich is from an episode of South Park. On an early episode in the second season, the kids watched a cooking show called “Bakin’ Bacon with Macon.” The less said about this show, the better. (This being South Park, I think you know what I mean.) But! On the show they made a sandwich called “the French Bacon Sandwich.” Like the Bacon Burger Dog we talked about a few days ago, it has been the subject of much Internet rumour over the years. Bacon fans have been stumped in their attempts to locate the recipe or imitate it from the show. So far, that search has been fruitless. THAT IS, UNTIL TODAY.

How Do You Say Bacon in French?

Like many great things in life, the French Bacon sandwich is the spirit of simplicity. Here’s a brief rundown of how you make it.

Take a pound of bacon and bake it. These ain’t my rules – I’m just telling you what I’ve heard. I’m guessing the only reason you cook an entire pound of bacon is so that you really up the indulgence factor. GO FULL FRENCH OR GO HOME.

I won’t go over the particulars of baking bacon – if you don’t know how to do it, you can find plenty of descriptions of the process on this site. After the bacon is cooked, take it and put it on four slices of Dempsters or Canadian Bread (once again – I think the four sandwiches thing is an essential part of the craziness of this recipe).

Finally, after you’ve done all of that – and you are sweating over this extremely complicated and time-consuming recipe – slather all of your bacon sandwiches with French salad dressing. Slap another piece of white bread on top. Cut in triangles. TA DAH! Another condiment misused for the purposes of bacon consumption! If you need visual stimulation and encouragement, this site offers some tantalizing pictures.

I’m From the Islands: The Thousand Islands

Of course, this being the Internet, and bacon being bacon, this is not the only bacon sandwich out there that uses a salad dressing as a major component. You can also make the Thousand Island Club. The Thousand Island Club features all of the major parts of a club sandwich: toasted bread, bacon, tomatoes, lettuce and turkey. But drizzled over all of this is a healthy dose of Thousand Island Dressing. This, strangely, sounds less appealing to me than the French Bacon Sandwich. That is, until I remember that Thousand Island Dressing is pretty much just Mayonnaise, Ketchup and Relish.

What do you think of the French Bacon Sandwich? Are you going to make it anytime soon?

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