There’s plenty of ways to cook bacon: you can fry, microwave or bake it. In fact, do whatever you like! It’s a pretty chilled out food item. It doesn’t mind. In fact, people seem to be coming up with new ways of cooking bacon every day. This one I’ve heard of recently really takes the cake for originality: someone has found a way to cook bacon with a machine gun.

Cooking Bacon the Way Real Men Do It

I’ve already told you about the BAK-47 (the AK-47 made out of bacon). But that’s not what I’m talking about today. Making a gun out of bacon is child’s play compared to this (literally). It’s so crazy I’m going to say it again: some dude on reddit has actually cooked bacon with his handy-dandy 7.62mm machine gun. (You know, the one he just happened to have lying around.) And the cooking did not involve shooting the bacon in any way. This is how he did it.

How To Cook the Bacon

First of all, our brave chef exposed the barrel of his machine gun and wrapped tin foil around it. Then, he tied the foil down on either end of the barrel with string to ensure it didn’t come off. After this, he wrapped the bacon around the foil, and wrapped some more foil around the bacon. This step is very important. The fired bullets give off searing hot gases. This is what cooks the bacon through the foil. But exposing the bacon to the gases can and will burn it (putting it in the foil lowers the heat a bit). And cause there are strange, kinda metallic-y gases being produced, it’s unlikely that you’d want to eat bacon that has come into contact with them.

After the bacon is all nice and snug, you can fire away. Our reddit chef fired 200 rounds, but he figured the bacon was pretty much done after 150 rounds: the smell of cooked bacon was making him hungry. The final product looks surprisingly well-cooked and delicious. I don’t have any weapons of mass-destruction lying around, but I wouldn’t be against trying some machine gun cooked bacon someday. A guy can dream, can’t he?

A Long, Proud History of Misusing Weapons to Make Breakfast

Cooking bacon with machine guns isn’t entirely new. In fact, the reddit guy got the idea from a historic practice. Back in WWI, British troops used the Vickers Machine Gun in the trenches. Part of its firing system used water: the sleeve around the barrel was filled with water to cool it down. When the barrel heated up, the water would turn to steam. It would then move through to another part of the gun and condense back into water. But in the mornings, the British troops would sometimes use this aspect of the machine gun to perk up their breakfast. They would fire off a few rounds into no-man’s-land, take out the boiling water from the gun before it condensed and use the boiling water to make tea. That’s a manly cup of tea!

What do you think of the machine gun bacon? And although we’d like to remind you that you shouldn’t try to replicate anything you see on the Internet, (particularly anything involving weapons!), do you think you’d like to taste a real machine-gun cooked slice of bacon?

Image Provided by Oelund