Bacon is the perfect accessory at meal time. It complements pretty much every dish and can be added to everything. But that’s not the limit to bacon’s powers. Bacon’s attractiveness extends beyond the plate and spreads its tentacles of awesomeness in every direction. One of these fertile directions is when bacon becomes a style accessory or piece of jewelry. After all, what is more precious than a crispy piece of bacon? Today, the greatest bacon accessories of all time follow after the jump.
Bacon strips as earrings. It’s pretty classic. Like a white t-shirt or a pair of jeans, I think this is a new fashion essential. And like I said, that’s the essence of its classicness: it goes with everything. What, are you going to argue with me about me? If any such thoughts creep into your head, I think you need to some more bacon to calm down and reconsider your crazy opinions.
You Had Me At Bacon Pendant
Sometimes, people get wrong ideas about bacon-eaters. They think that we are a gruff, hard-hearted bunch. But these people forget that the delightful thing about bacon is that it is crispy and chewy. The chewy part appeals to our soft side, and many of us bacon-lovers have a soft spot for rom-coms now and then. Case in point: Jerry Maguire is a pretty great movie to pretend that you don’t like and then secretly re-watch obsessively. And what goes better with secret, obsessive viewings of classic rom-coms? You guessed it: bacon. I’ve heard there’s an outtake on the DVD where Renee Zellweger actually says, “You had me at bacon!” But don’t quote me on that.
Push Button, Receive Bacon Pin
The classic, “Push Button, Receive Bacon” joke gets the 1 inch button treatment. For those who don’t know, the joke is based on the images you can often see on hand dryers: the waves of warm air emanating from a hand dryer look like strips of bacon. If only a device had been invented that did what this one promises! Alas, we will have to keep the dream alive by wearing a pin in its honour.
What time is it? With this watch it’s always bacon o’clock! (These jokes write themselves.) But seriously, are you showing up late for your meetings because you are always trying to eat more bacon? Shouldn’t it be time to get a bacon watch? I don’t know how having a bacon watch will specifically get you back on track, time-wise, but it sure as hell will make looking at your watch a more mouth-watering experience.
The BLT Stud Earrings
Holy crap bacon. I don’t have pierced ears, but sandwich ear studs? Sign me up! I figure these are most helpful when you have decided that somehow, some way, you are going to be eating BLTs that day. Then, when the waitress or server asks you what you want to eat, you can just smile and point at your ears. Sure, they might be confused, but that just means you are cooler than they are.
Got any other bacon accessory ideas? Let us know in the box below!