Bacon, like anything valuable, can stir up emotions. It can make people do things that they might never thought they would do – like commit a crime. We were ahead of the curve on thinking about bacon crime prevention. That’s why we offered this video about protecting your bacon from theft. Today, we are going to continue that ahead-curve-thinking by running down some the greatest bacon crimes ever committed in history. Well, at least in the last few years. Follow the clues after the break:

BBQ Without A Licence

Back in 2008, 28 high schoolers were suspended from school for two days for BBQing some bacon on their school grounds. Yes – suspended for baconing. Terrible! This is clearly a crazy, mixed-up world we live in where such things are punished, and not rewarded. I only hope that some deserving person got to eat all of the food that was confiscated.

 

Boxes of Bacon Stolen

This one only happened a month ago. Three men were arrested after trying to steal three boxes of bacon (one for each man?) from a store’s freezer. The reason why they opted for it over anything else was because they had broken into the store’s freezer, but couldn’t find a way to get into the actual store. We never said that bacon-lovers were always the smartest folks.

 

Selling Bacon Is A Crime

Our friends at Bacontoday were the ones who originally alerted us to this story: selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs in LA can land you in jail. You see, bacon is seen as a “potentially hazardous food” to some folks in the sunshine state, and you can’t sell it from food trucks. We haven’t heard yet whether or not they have lifted their ban (even after the bacon-dog became LA’s official hot dog). So we’d advise you to consider just making your bacon dogs at home, rather than buy them.

 

Store Loses All of Its Bacon to Thieves

In 2008, an even worse bacon theft problem than the one above was being reported by folks in England. Apparently, it wasn’t just a few packages of bacon that were being taken away that was the issue – it was the entire bacon sections that were being carried off by resourceful thieves! Apparently, because bacon is so thin, it can be hidden under clothes. And because it is so delicious, it can be easily resold. The stores eventually had to deal with this bacon crimewave by putting all of their bacon at the front counter.

 

Kevin Bacon is Ripped Off by Bernie Madoff

Okay, Kevin Bacon isn’t actually bacon. I just wanted to remind you that he was ripped off by Bernie Madoff – and wasn’t that terrible? Also, I think you might have heard he’s in that new X-Men movie. I’m sure he’s great. There is, however, no word if bacon appears in the movie. And as much as I like the X-Men, I’ll have to withhold all of my judgements about the movie until I hear about whether any real bacon was involved in its creation.