Today, I thought we’d try something a little different. It’s arts and crafts day: bacon style! As you probably know, bacon has been the subject of many trend pieces. In fact, some people think that it is a bit of a hipster meat – it’s probably why so many people are getting bacon tattoos. But we also know that bacon will outlast all of the hipsters in Brooklyn – it is one of the oldest meats around. So our idea here isn’t to get onto any hipster radar or anything – who’d want to do that? – but we thought we’d play around with the idea of bacon’s hipster connection by baconifying some hipster glasses.
The Material Gathering
Baconifying hipster glasses is a multi-step process. First of all, we needed a pair of hipster glasses and some bacon. I found some cheap hipster glasses in Kensington Market for a few bucks. Their lenses easily slid out.
After that, I got me some bacon. Some Maple Leaf Food bacon! I figured that I could reward myself with some delicious Maple Leaf bacon after making the glasses. But not the bacon on the glasses – the glasses are purely decorative! We’ll get into why in just a sec.
I wrapped the bacon around the glasses. As other bacon-sculptors may have figured out, uncooked bacon is not the most forgiving of sculptural materials. In fact, it tends to slide apart after I had just wrapped it around the arms of the hipster glasses, for instance. To fix this, I put some toothpicks in the bacon to hold it together. It looks sort of barbaric, but it was necessary. Think of it as a bacon hipster glasses hors d’ouevre.
When everything was wrapped up nice and neat, I put it on a plate. And this is the tricky part, and why I don’t suggest doing this at home. Remember, I did this whole thing for a joke and a laugh – and I don’t want you following what I’m doing and get accidentally burned because you used meltable glasses. We microwaved the bacon and the glasses on low, and checked it periodically. You see? Not the most brilliant thing in the world to do. So don’t do it!
After that, we took our babies out of the microwave, put them on some paper towels and let them cool down. I removed the toothpicks as best as I could, and because the bacon had solidified at that point, it mostly stayed in place. As I mentioned, though, bacon is an unforgiving medium and I lost some bacon coverage around the nose rests. Also, one of the toothpicks was too deeply embedded, so I couldn’t remove it. Not a perfect homerun of a hipster bacon glasses sculpture, but A plus for effort. Yay!
So, does anyone out there want to try on our bacon hipster glasses?