I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you about these guys. It’s not that I felt you haven’t been ready. Okay, maybe I have. But it’s just that these are so nut-tacular (it’s a word – look it up), that I haven’t felt completely happy telling an unprepared Republic of Bacon fanbase about them. What am I so expertly beating around the bush about? Why, it’s none other than this: bacon turtles. It might just be the best Bacon Recipe.

Like any time I dangle such a crazy bacony idea like this in front of you, I’m going to ask you to jump past the break to find out more about it. The jump has a ton of information on how to actually make these awesome Bacon Turtles. I tried to make one but mine literally caught on fire. Turns out you shouldn’t make these over a campfire… while you are at the dock. Learn from my lesson and watch these littel ‘turtles’ carefully. More after teh jump.

 

Bacon Turtles, Rah Rah Rah

Bacon turtles are – fortunately – maybe not what you are thinking. They are not turtles – at least not the live ones. They are bacon-related cooking that superficially resemble our aquatic reptile friends. They are astoundingly more delicious than the live ones. And they are much less likely to bite you before you bite them.

 

This is How You Do It

Caroline’s blog provides a pretty good description of how to go about making some bacon turtles. Like all good bacon recipes, it starts out with a bacon weave. Bacon weaves hold all the goodness inside! And bacon weaves are pretty simple. If you forget how to do it, we can teach you again how to create a bacon weave. Chef Rob also created a weave in his BLT sandwich recipe. Essentially what you do is take four slices of bacon, and weave them, basket-like, between four more slices of bacon. At the end of this step, you’ll have a nice solid wall of bacon.

Image Provided by lesleyk

Once that’s done, you put some ground beef in the centre of the bacon weave. You’ll have to make sure the beef is seasoned with spices and an egg white (to keep the whole thing together). Caroline also suggests adding some cheese. I can’t really fault Caroline for thinking of doing this, because this is clearly an awesome idea. Once the cheese has been layered on top of the beef, the bacon is wrapped around the ground beef. This bacon weave will form the turtle’s “shell.”

 

The Leg Bone’s Connected to the Bacon Weave

The legs and head and tail are added next. These are hot dog wieners or sausages, and they’ve been cut so that about an inch or two will hang out of the body and about an inch will be inside the body. When inserting the legs and head and tail through the weave and into the body, use extra bacon to cover up any holes or gaps. Slice some cuts into the wieners too – you don’t want them exploding in the heat. The head can have holes that form a face!

 

Once all of that’s done, you stick some toothpicks through the body and the limbs to make sure they don’t fall off, and you put it on your grill or in your oven. If you have any barbecuing time left in your baco-calendar, I might recommend squeezing these babies in there somehow. But remember, like anything bacon-related, they could catch on fire on the grill, so it might make sense to wrap them in tin foil first. In any case, make sure the beef inside is cooked – poking and cooking it until there’s no more red coming out is a good indicator. You don’t want undercooked beef!

 

Bacon Turtles: Loved By Mammals

And voila! There you go: some delicious bacony turtles for everyone to share. Obviously, these will be most loved by the kids. But I have a feeling everyone will go about crazy for them.

Main Image Provided by The_Dream1