Bacon is not only a delicious food, capable of bringing joy and feelings of satisfied fullness to folks the world over. Bacon can also be a useful tool in the hands of more enterprising individuals. Both in your professional and personal life, you can use bacon as a thoughtful (and very convincing!) negotiation tool.
By that, of course, we mean that bacon is one of the most effective bribes out there. Here are just a few of the ways you can use bacon to convince colleagues, friends, and romantic partners that helping you is to their advantage and the quickest way for them to get some tasty (and creatively presented) bacon. We however, do not promote bribing individuals. We promote a solid solution to negotiation and if it just so happens that bacon is used as part of your negotiation. We are all for it. Lets be serious here, Bacon can easily seal any deal.
I have ‘bribed’ several individuals with bacon and I have included several below. Start with an easy one and work your way up.
Breakfast in Bed (with Bacon)
This is one of the most basic bribery tactics out there, and is best reserved for romantic partners. If there is a concert, or a dull cocktail party, you really want you sweetie to accompany you to, bribing them with the promise of bacon and eggs in bed the next day is an excellent way to make them much more amenable to being your date.
A Bribery Broquet
Another romantic use for bacon, the broquet is a spectacular show piece. We wrote a whole article about the broquet here.
Think of the broquet as the big guns of bacon bribery, and bring this stunning gift out when you really need of impress or convince — or, maybe, be forgiven. What discerning lady could hold a foible against you when presented with a lovingly crafted bouquet of bacon roses?
Beer and Bacon
This is a perfect bribe for your buddies, to convince them to help you out with a project around the house. This is also an excellent gift of thanks for friends who have agreed to help you move. Pick up a 2-4 of their favourite beer or a couple of bottles of good red wine, and pair it with some thick-cut, maple-flavoured bacon. This is a gourmet gift that is sure to make your friends feel warm and fuzzy, and be more than willing to donate some elbow grease to helping you out.
Impress The In-laws
That first time you have your partner’s parents over for dinner can be a nerve-wracking experience. You want to make a good impression on them personally and also provide them with a great meal. Luckily, thanks to the magic of bacon, this wonderful ingredient can ensure that at least dinner will be a show-stopper. Dazzle them with an appetizer of bacon-wrapped, chorizo-stuffed dates (another recipe I should share?). Present them a stunning main dish of a bacon-wrapped pork loin with sage butter. And what about a rich maple cake for desert, sprinkled with the tiniest, crispiest bits of bacon? Put them in a bacon-induced food coma, and they are guaranteed to love you!