While we’re certainly not advocating that you go outside with a sandwich board and start screaming “The end is nigh!” at people walking past you on the street, every once in a while is sure seems like the present moment is awfully close to the apocalypse. Between the rising temperatures all around the world, earthquakes that destroy hundreds of millions of dollars worth of delicious delicious cheese (sniff), and pizza being considered a vegetable, sometimes it can seem like the world as we know it is on the way out. Rather than succumb to fear and paralysis, curling into a ball and waiting for the end to come, we at the Republic of Bacon advocate facing a potential apocalypse head on. If the world is going to end, we bacon lovers need to be prepared.
Whether zombies, aliens or good, old-fashioned nuclear war finally do us in, some of us are bound to make it to a post-apocalyptic party. Let’s face it, bacon lovers are resourceful and smart, and have so much to live for, that we’re sure to be the ones battling roaches and mutants for what’s left of the planet. And so, for today’s Bacon Love Friday, here are some crucial skills and tactics that you can employ to continue to enjoy bacon even after the world ends.
Make Your Own
Once all of the grocery stores are cleaned out of their bacon supplies in a post-armageddon looting frenzy, it’s not going to be long before bacon as we know it will cease to exist. Luckily, humans have been making bacon for hundreds and hundreds of years, and those skills are still available for you to learn. Make sure that you can make your own bacon, so that you can continue to enjoy this treat even after the collapse of society.
Cook Bacon In the Wild
Also useful when camping, knowing how to cook bacon without a stove or utensils is crucial. While you may be lucky enough to have a skillet to cook bacon in, bacon is also perfectly delicious when cooked on a stick over an open flame. Think of it as the post-apocalyptic version of roasting marshmallows.
Fresh bacon can be preserved by canning, just like many vegetables and sauces. This will help keep whatever fresh bacon supplies you’ve managed to hoard safe to eat for as long as possible.
Tame The Beasts with Bacon
After the apocalypse, who knows what new and terrifying creatures will roam the land: feral dogs, giant insects, talking octopi? Whatever new monsters we have to deal with, be sure to have a healthy supply of bacon treats on hand, so that you can sooth and possibly even tame the creates into your pets or loyal steeds!